I laze. It’s spring at the artist house, lovely. One might conjecture a very slow tourist season hereabouts, what with the end of capitalism and all. Sigh! What a time to be thousands of miles away. A cat eating mackerel in the late afternoon glow. A silver lake sparkling. Shrug aside the to do list and the clamoring social appointments. Recline in the rocking chair with a laptop to tap on. Bliss. I turned down a tribal sauna for this moment, so you know it’s pretty special.
Life as a practice, cultivating moments of utter rapture while living in agreement with earth. This is both my lifestyle and quest. It’s the basis for creating without instrumentality and for healing. It’s sweet.
I’ve got a friend who denies that anyone can live in agreement with earth. According to her/him, all the people who might have been capable of living in agreement were wiped out by us, the modern people. Any attempt at balance is futile for we ourselves are out of balance and totally crazed. It’s the old ‘people are a planetary cancer’ schtick. She/he’s not a bad sort, just murky. Some smart people don’t know how to settle the silt – always making with the spoon, stirring up their guts.
If I am addicted to anger, I might get a fix by ranting against the hypocrisy of green tinted consumption. If I’m addicted to disconnection, I might declare myself to be lone member of an elite environmental vanguard, ready and willing to slam everyone who doesn’t conform to my ideas. Righteous arrogance doesn’t promote stewardship any better than sleeping in front of a TV does. It drains away alliances. It makes folks sick. It’s boring.
Hard truths rock, don’t get me wrong. I want to reveal my insidious assumptions, identify the buggy lines of code. What am I ignoring? I appreciate uncomfortable insight from cantankerous curmudgeons. To awaken the world, we must unbundle the personal horror show.
I used to think that anger was a response to forces and events outside myself, but I’ve discovered that anger is always my responsibility. This recognition transmutes rage into productive energy and eventually anger becomes less prominent in the palette of emotions. Although my friend can be a pain in the ass, I know about her/his struggle. I don’t expect her/his journey to parallel mine, I just imagine her/him finding the center someday, cutting herself/himself some slack. Perhaps she/he feels that humans are incapable of balance because that’s her/his personal experience. It doesn’t have to be so forever.
Ah, to be less of an informer and more of a demonstrator. I want to demonstrate pragmatic practice for getting us all where we want to go – environmental sustainability, social justice and, (taking a cue from the Pachamama Alliance), spiritual fulfillment.
Anyway it’s time to make dinner and revisist the to do list. 10 more days before I am late for the boat!